is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You're like the curious george of whores
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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