His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
