I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
