he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
