my sisters under your porch take her home
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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