Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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