I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
