As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
