He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
