I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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