After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
