We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
