I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
