I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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