He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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