Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
