Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
