Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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