Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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