sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How does one acquire holy water?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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