Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I AM VODKA MAN
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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