She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
