Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
