no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
