Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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