Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
