it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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