life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
