is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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