yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
