It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
