No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
