He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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