I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
