TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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