it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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