just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
