Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
