jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
