5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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