Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
