so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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