Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
