before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
