I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
