i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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