Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
