Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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