So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
