When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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